and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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