Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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