It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
