So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize