Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
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