Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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