I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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