Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
