oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
it's like heaven, but drunker
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
