Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
