Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Randomize
