Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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