I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
