im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
