respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
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