True but thats because hes a fetus.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
