when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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