Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
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