The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
My bed smells like the plague
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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