also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
