We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
