At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
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Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize