okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
