marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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