bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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