If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
