I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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