the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
