She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
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For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
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You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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