Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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