it wasn't lemon gatorade
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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