im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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