Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize