Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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