sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
