Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
