I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
false alarm. still invincible.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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