Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
