he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
i believe in u and ur pee
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
