I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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