Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
