you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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