Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Randomize
