You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
