is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He passed out mid-signature
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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