this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
