I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?