I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me