i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
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Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.