Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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