he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
