why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize