Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
