We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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