you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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