"it" just moved
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
you inspire me to be a worse person
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
