Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
