I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
